


The letters

by Gracebook99



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Child Abuse, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, I'm Sorry, Idiots in Love, Internalized Homophobia, Love, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Past Child Abuse, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-01-28 11:20:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12605468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gracebook99/pseuds/Gracebook99
Summary: Minseok and Jongdae have been best friends since they were born. But when Minseok's dad starts to show his true colours and his mom leaves what will happen to him? How will Jongdae react?This is a story of pain, desire and overcoming barriers for love to thrive.





	1. Hurt and pain

**Author's Note:**

> I'm gonna kick this off with the backstory of Minseok's life from his perspective. then we will see the letter he wrote to Jongdae asking for forgiveness. The letter is personally my favorite part of this fic and I spent a lot of time on it but the backstory may not be that good since I wrote it at like 2 am.

Jongdae and I have been best friends since the day he was born. Our parents were good friends and they took barely a year old me to the hospital to visit them, our parents well mostly our mothers then hung out every day to support each other as our dads worked. When we were a little older around 2 or 3 Jongdae's family moved into the house next door and we hung out even more now than we did before, which was saying something. We were closer than close and more often than not we would end up sleeping in each other's rooms, curled up together in a blanket fort. Our mothers thought we were the cutest thing but my dad didn't seem to agree, he hit me for the first time when he got home from work while mom was out and Jongdae kissed me on the cheek because I fell and scraped my knee. He called me a bunch of names that I later found out was homophobic slurs, he didn't hit hard the first time but Jongdae still took care of me. He kissed the hurt away when dad left the room and gave me his juice pack. but later I heard screams coming from my parent's room and my mom crying. At breakfast the next morning although she was wearing way more makeup than usual, a faint purple could be seen around her eyes and child me didn't know why she seemed so sad when she gave me my eggos and sent me off to Dae’s house.

The hitting continued to happen more often and I spent all the time I could at Dae’s house. Mom had been getting quieter as the days went on and one morning a few days after I had turned 5 mom walked into the room and ran her fingers through my hair like she used to do. She sang me a song and kissed my forehead. She told me she loved me and then she left the room, I didn't know why she had started crying but now I know. She left that day, she wrote a note to my dad that I found later on explaining that she couldn't stay with a homophobic asshole like him and that she hoped I turned out gay just to spite him. That was the first bad beating I got from my dad, I was only five but I still remember the pain shooting through my arm as he threw me against the wall breaking my arm and one of my ribs. He left me crying on the floor and if it weren't for Jongdae coming to see if I wanted to play I could have been left there for a long time.

I used to hate my mom for everything, for leaving me with my dad, for not leaving me anything except for a kiss on the forehead and mostly for not taking me with her. Jongdae helped me, later on, to discover that she must have been hurting a lot in their relationship. It didn't make me completely forgive her but it gave her a reason and made her more humane. When after 10 years when I turned 15 we receive a note from her parents aka my grandparents I've never met, saying that she had committed suicide and left a note saying she regretted not taking me with her I broke down and locked myself in my room for 2 days. My dad had finally had enough and broke through the door belt in hand and beat me senseless. He must have been hurting more than usual though since he had tears in his eyes. I always thought that even though he had a sick way of showing it he must have really loved my mother for it to have messed him up this bad for so many years. Jongdae had climbed through my window that time medical kit in tow. He started crying when he saw what bad shape I was in and he stayed home from school for 3 days to be with me through the worst of the pain. Jongdae called the police that time but somehow my dad must have gotten rid of them because nobody ever came to help. Jongdae didn't trust them after that. 

A few weeks later my dad called me to his office and started yelling at me for hanging out with Jongdae because he was a bad influence. This was because Jongdae convinced me to join the music program at school and my dad thought it was only for sissies. He told me that if I didn't at least join the soccer team and play on the first lineup he wouldn't let me hang out with Jongdae anymore. I told Jongdae and he decided to try out for the team as well and then we spent, even more, time together. We would wake up at 6 am and work out the get ready for school, then after school, we would have soccer practice then band. After all of that we would go to Dae’s house to eat dinner since my dad never bought grocery’s then we would do homework spread out on the floor of his room and then we would go practice soccer again until it was too late to even see the ball and we would crash in bed together sweaty and tired and completely happy. We sometimes would stay up late talking but most of the time Dae would lay on top of me and I'd run my fingers through his hair until we both fell asleep. When I would wake up with nightmares Jongdae would wake up and cuddle me closer to him and sing a lullaby to me, he sang so well and it was the only thing that could calm me during my episodes. When for whatever reason we couldn't stay together at night I would not get any sleep and end up just staying up for the night. 

All our efforts paid off though and I made the team and my dad was happy, so happy he announced the fact that he had been planning to marry me off to a girl named Jimin since I was really young. I remember being so shocked that I just didn't say anything and my dad had enough of the silence because he thought I should have been more excited but he just sent me to my room. Jongdae was already in the room waiting for me and I started crying the minute he wrapped me in a hug. I told him everything and now I recognize the hurt in his eyes as I told him about how I would need to marry this Jimin girl but now I can recognize that he was jealous and hurt. Even though he must have been hurting he still hugged me and held me until the tears passed. I didn't even know at the time why I was so upset, I thought it was just because I didn't want to marry a stranger but I think it was because I was already in love and oblivious. I was in love with Jongdae but I never realized it.

When we were sixteen we were sleeping in the same bed and Dae was curled up in my arms, his warm breath was soft against my neck and his legs were entangled with mine. That’s when I felt something hard pressing into my hip, something that happens normally for boys our age so I thought I’d just ignore it and try to sleep again, but Dae shifted in his sleep and let out a breathless moan and somehow I started to get turned on. I felt sick to my stomach as I got even harder. I almost started chasing some friction but words my dad has been saying to me for years started to come back to haunt me the “faggots” “flamer” “fairy” “pansy” “poof” all of these came back to me and with them came the memories of the beatings and the pain. I cried out and had tears running down my cheeks and the way Jongdae gently got up and held tight only made things worse. Jongdae had asked me what was wrong but I couldn't tell him what made me have such a bad nightmare and he must have seen something in my eyes because he didn't pry anymore. After that, I tried to distance myself from Dae a little but after only a couple days where I couldn't eat or sleep I snuck into his room at night and he took one look at me and pushed me towards the shower while he got me some food. We sat and watched movies until we fell asleep together we woke up early and began our routine again since the weekend was over. That wasn't the last time I got turned on by Jongdae but it was by far the scariest one. I tried to get over him after that by watching porn with lots of hot girls but I always ended up looking at the guy and when I tried all girl porn I wasn't interested and would end up daydreaming of Jongdae's abs when he took off his shirt after practice. I was totally screwed and I didn't even know it.

I was seventeen now and Jongdae was still sixteen but he was really smart so he skipped a grade and was in my classes so we always helped each other out. I would do all the math and science stuff and he would do the artsy and language stuff. We were a good team and both of us made honor roll, Dae’s parents invited me out to dinner to celebrate and it was one of the best night of my life. Jongdae’s parents had always been prominent adults in my life and I consider them family. It was my first time going out to eat though since my dad usually did not let me go out with them claiming that hanging out with their son was bad enough but with all of them was like siding with the devil. It was all amazing until I got home and realized that my dad’s truck was in the driveway even though he wasn't supposed to be home until the next day. Jongdae squeezed my hand and it gives me the courage to enter the house. What is inside though surprised me beyond belief there was a girl who was way shorter than me, she was objectively pretty but I thought somewhere in my subconscious that she wasn't as pretty as Jongdae.

Turns out my dad wanted to introduce us to each other 6 months before the wedding since I would be 18 then. I was absolutely stunned and if Jimin wasn't in the room I’m sure my dad would have hit me for not speaking to her immediately. I clear my throat and welcome her quietly, I could feel hot tears begin to well up and before I would start crying I excuse myself claiming it was a long day and I would see her again the next day. I can see my dad start to say something but Jimin said something about it being a long trip and wanting to sleep so my dad let it go. Once again I ended up in Dae’s arms crying my heart out and thinking of how she would come between us. I felt absolutely wrecked but there was nothing I could do, at this point, I still thought that I wasn't gay or in love with Jongdae so my hatred of marrying her was scary.  
Jimin spent a week with us and my dad forbid me from talking or seeing Jongdae while she was here but I snuck out every night to sleep beside him because the nightmares were getting worse. I was really depressed after that and stopped eating as much, Dae would force me to eat so that I’d stay alive but me being thinner made my dad happy so I kept doing it. My dad slowly went crazier, the beatings became an everyday thing and when we took in a stray dog it became the focus of some of the attacks. My dad then tried to kill my dog that we had rescued the month before, it was sick and threw up everywhere so my dad got mad. He left him in the barn and set it on fire, I nearly went in after it then but Jongdae held me back as I screamed for it. There must have been something explosive in the barn though because it blew up seconds later and if it weren't for Jongdae I’m certain I would be dead. He saved my life in more ways than one. He helped me to his room and laid down beside me running his hands up my sides and kissing my cheek. The gesture made me blush but I was so exhausted from all the crying that I didn't think about it and fell asleep in Dae’s arms.

Dae and I spent almost every day with each other after that, we knew that we only had a few more months before I was married off, my dad became even more restless and became more violent, I spent a week out of school for a broken arm when my dad threw me down the stairs and Jongdae skipped as many classes as he could to stay home with me. He begged me one night to run away from home and live at his house, his parents had said it would be okay. He was crying when he asked, he got on his knees and begged me not to go and to not keep hurting myself but the fear of my dad made me stay. Jongdae was mad at me and didn't talk to me but every night he would come to my window and sing me a lullaby to help me sleep, I didn't tell him but sometimes his body lying next to me was the real reason my nightmares went away.

It was a week before I turned 18 and we had celebrated early because Jimin would be coming to stay at my house until I graduated when we would be expected to get married and move in together. She was older than me though and had a job offer in another city and she managed to get time off for a couple months then I had to go with her. Jongdae was absolutely pissed that I wouldn't be with him for longer and I could understand why. We had always promised to stay together, we applied to the same university’s and with our grades and extracurricular we knew we would probably get in. Jongdae had always thought we could be roommates together and we had actually applied to get a double room at one of the university’s, Jimin completely threw off the plan. I tried to ignore the pain in my chest at the thought of losing him at all, it was the worst case scenario for me.

To celebrate my birthday we just laid out on the grass looking up at the sky and drinking beer that Jongdae’s parents had left out for him with a note to be safe. We fell asleep on the grass entangled together. Where Jongdae ended and where I began was impossible to tell but we were woken up when we heard the sound of my dad yelling at us, he hit me and he even hit Jongdae, he called us a million homophobic slurs and dragged me back to the house and locked me in the basement telling me that I would never hang out with that gay boy of a neighbor and that I couldn't let myself be infected. I cried hard for a while but when I realized that it was useless I sat on an old dingy couch cushion and stared at the wall. I wasn't allowed out of the basement for anything but bathroom breaks and I was brought food and water twice a day but I didn't eat much of it. I also only slept when exhaustion forced my eyes closed but I would wake up with night terrors and barely got enough sleep to stay conscious. It wasn't until the night before Jimin came over that I was dragged out of the basement to shower and get ready for my future wife’s arrival. I had found a note under my pillow in my room asking if I was okay plus a list of all the homework for our classes I'd missed. I had smiled thinking of Dae worrying about me and I climbed down through my window and ran to Jongdae's house when I knew my dad was asleep. I climbed into his room and found him already fast asleep on his bed so I just lay down next to him. In his sleep, he automatically shifted to wrap me in his arms and I smiled to myself. I woke up early though and left before he woke up, I thought I heard a whisper to stay but I was ready for my fate. It felt like I was walking to the slaughterhouse as I snuck back through my window.

Jimin wasn't so bad, to be totally honest, she left me alone for the most part unless my dad was around. She slept in the room beside mine and I think my dad was hoping we’d sneak into each other's rooms but I still went over to Dae’s house every night if my dad wasn't around. Dae was getting more distant mentally but he was getting more and more clingy. He would hold my hand as we walked to school and cling to me a little too long every time I scored a goal. He would help me with my gear and wrapping up my shoulder, then we’d sleep somehow even closer than we did before. Now he would sleep completely on top of me, curled into my chests with his hands tightly gripping my t-shirt if I was wearing one or wrapped around me if I wasn't. When he used to get closer to me I would act out and push him away but somehow the fear of never getting to see him again made me appreciate it and even if I didn't know my feelings I found myself clinging back just as hard.

The rest of the school year went by in a flash, exams were over and there were a few days of break before graduation, my dad seemed content to let me hang out with Jongdae since I was getting married the night after graduation and moving out a few days after that. I appreciate that he had at least given me a little time to say goodbye. We spent most of our time, just sitting and talking. We went to the beach one day and camped out under the stars another one (At Dae’s house that time) but the best part was falling asleep to Jongdae’s voice sung softly into the crook of my neck. But sadly the time was coming to an end.

Graduation day was a mess, my dad ended up not getting the time off so I got ready at Jongdae’s house which I liked better anyway. Jongdae’s parents took a million pictures and coddled me to the max, Jimin had to tag along but she just sat on her phone in the corner of the room. Somehow Jongdae and her had come to an agreement that whenever they were forced to hang out they would ignore the other's presence. Jongdae though was a blubbering mess crying and clinging to me like crazy, he never let go of me except when I went to the bathroom and I had a hard time getting him off me just for that. We went to graduation together and sat beside each other since our last names were the same but the tears never stopped and though I prided myself on not crying in public since that one time I did it in grade 3 and my dad beat me because it showed I was weak a tear made it’s way down my cheek as I saw my best friend walk across that stage. The rest of the evening was a blur and I remember getting dragged back home by Jimin who was bored to death and then sneaking out to Jongdae’s house and going out to the field behind our houses. This is where shit got messy.

Jongdae looked really nervous for some reason, his hands were shaking and in wrapped his hands in mine, he looked up smiling then. Something in my actions must have encouraged him to say whatever he needed because he opened his mouth next and changed everything. He told me about how much he loved me. How he adored everything about me and I sat there in silence running everything through my head, it explained everything but I became ashamed I took my hands out from his and could feel tears start to well up in my eyes. Then I felt his lips on mine and it was my first kiss, it was perfect and soft but I didn't move or react.   
Until I did and that’s when things went from bad to worse. I pushed him away, I was crying and then I started screaming. I felt like everything I had was falling apart on me, I fell to my knees and even though I know now that Jongdae must have been hurting too he still put a hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it off. It felt like my dad was going to come out with his shotgun and shoot us both dead, the fear paralyzed me. I didn’t stop crying for a while until I looked up and saw Jongdae looking hurt like I’ve never seen- not like when my dad hit him when he put himself in front of me or when he sprained his ankle playing soccer- It was a pain so deep set his face looked absolutely wrecked. Even like that I still thought he was beautiful and that was the shock that made me get up and wipe my tears. I turned around quickly to walk away when I hear a broken sorry coming from his mouth. I start to cry again but I convince myself to keep walking and for the first time I hear him fall apart. He was always the strong one in our relationship, he was my rock. I kept walking though. I was cruel.

I didn’t see him the next day at my wedding or the day I left for my honeymoon but I had found a note with “I’m sorry I fell in love with you” written on it. I cried when I found it and I put it in my wallet for safekeeping. I can’t count how many times I’ve taken it out and run my finger over his neat cursive writing. 

The honeymoon happened uneventfully, Jimin must have sensed something was off when she tried to kiss me and she thankfully didn’t try anything else. We moved in together after that and we slept in separate rooms. I couldn't sleep in the new house at first I thought it was because of a new bed but I realized quickly that it was because of Jongdae. I ended up being zombie-like around the house, I rarely ate and lost too much weight. My doctor became concerned and got me pills for depression and sleeping pills but they didn't really help. I might have gotten a little more physical sleep but I was still just as tired mentally. 

Even with such a weird situation Jimin and I became kind of close, we always watched tv together after work and school respectfully but when I turned 19 and was old enough to drink she took me out to a bar and got me smashed. She must have been wanting to be intimate but everything about her turned me off, her long nails, her hair, her breasts and her as a person. I only remember part of it but I remember her mouth on mine and me trying to push her off gently, then her hands down my pants I remember closing my eyes and imagining someone else, someone with short hair and a cat like a grin. I came screaming Jongdae’s name and then I felt a slap and another until I felt tears well up in my eyes. I remember being dragged from the apartment and pushed out the door, I fell asleep leaning against the door and it wasn’t until the next morning that the door opened and she silently let me back in. I took care of my bruises all by myself and missed Jongdae more than anything. I had broken his heart and yet he didn’t lay a single finger on me. That was my turning point, I started therapy, I got a divorce lawyer and most importantly I sent a letter to Jongdae spilling out my heart and explaining my love for him. I still haven't gotten a reply but it’s still only been 2 weeks. My whole life is changing and it scares me beyond belief, I still have night terrors, I probably have internalized homophobia but I know who I love and I have a goal now.

Win Jongdae back.


	2. Dear Dae

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the letter that Minseok sends of to Jongdae, It is kinda sad and also hopeful. GL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again there may be some triggering content read at your own risk.

18 Faulkner Street  
Nova Scotia, Canada  
K8N 2M6  
June 10th 2017

 

Dearest Jongdae,

Hey, Dae it’s me Minseok. I know we haven't talked in awhile. Well not since I got married to Jimin that girl my dad had basically set me up with the day she was born. Well, I wanted to say I'm sorry for leaving you after you kissed me. I think I was just overwhelmed with my own feelings for you and the mentality of needing to marry a girl that my parents have instilled in me my entire life. I’m sure you don’t want to have anything to do with me but I miss you so much. You were my best friend and only now a year after I got married have I realized or more liked recognized the true feelings I have for you and how I can't live without you at my side. I’m begging you to read this letter and not to burn it, I need to get some things off my chest and I need you. I need all of you, I love you Dae. Probably more than I realized I did. Please give me a chance. Do you think you could do that for me? For old times sake my friend? I love you.

Let’s start from the beginning. Jimin is a nice girl I’m not gonna lie but she doesn't hold a candle to you. She’s noticed I've been off since we moved in together in this new city and she thought it was just the move but we haven't even had sex in our year of marriage and the one time she got me drunk enough to try and go a little further I moaned your name and she… well, she hit me and threw me out of the house. She let me in the next day but we haven't so much as said anything but formalities to each other. This was the turning point for me, ya know. The realization hit me that no matter what the only person that could never hurt me; who had kissed me and been rejected and still not laid a hand on me was back home. Then it went a step further and I realized that my home wasn't the town we lived in but you. You were my home and the love of my life and I gave you up for my parent's dumb ideologies and the deep-set homophobia that had been ingrained in me since my youth when I wasn't as big or strong as the other boys. I was never manly enough for him, but honestly looking back now I realize that even if I was the fucking Rock my dad was evil and would have found another reason to beat me. You were there every time my dad beat me for being too girly and more than once you faced his anger and stern hand to protect me when the beatings went too far. You got hit for me, you almost got killed because of me and I abandoned you. I’m so sorry for that, I hope sometimes that you’ll forgive me, but other times I want you to hate me, to blame me for everything. Anything that makes you happy will make me happy.  
You were there for me through thick and thin and I abandoned you in that field over a kiss and a beautiful confession. I hurt you and I know that as your best friend I would have told you to stay away from any boy or girl that broke your heart but I'm asking you to forgive me? To give me another chance to prove that I was just a stupid kid with feelings way over his head and a heap of insecurities and daddy issues? I love you and I need you back in my life or I think that my life won't be of any use. My only concern is your happiness so if I don t make you happy you can bet that I'll get my ass out of there. I love you, I'm sorry for realizing this too late.

I know you said to never thank you for protecting me from my parents but I just want to thank you for being by my side at all times. You nursed me back to health so many times I've lost count, even when we were young children you would give me a hug and share your juice pack and when we got older you would still do the same but now instead of just a pinch or a little hit I would come back with cuts and bruises and you would lay me down and hug me than fix me up. You would help me through every hardship, even getting hit a couple times in my stead and you still took care of my own injuries before your own. That was love. There was never anyone better to me and I can’t believe I was so blind to not only my feelings but yours. You made me feel human again and no matter what happens I want you to know you saved my life. Without you, I would have died that night. You know the one when my dad set fire to the barn when my dog was still inside because he was barking too loud and as I screamed and was about to go in you held me back. Do you remember what happened only seconds after? The whole barn exploded, my dad had accidentally left a can of something explosive and the thing was a wreck. If I had gone in I would have died. I cried myself to sleep in your arms on the ground that night and when I woke up I was lying comfortably on my bed with you half on top of me. I stayed there until you woke up since I know you liked my dog too and were probably exhausted. That was a terrifying moment of my life and I owe you everything. I know that I never was able to pay you back for all you've done for me and I never will, but I will try my entire life to make it up to you. The worst part is there are countless of other times where you saved me, there’s no way of repaying you for everything you’ve done but I will try until I take my last breath if you let me back into your life.

Enough of this sad stuff though I want to tell you about how I fell in love with you or more like how I acknowledged I’ve always been in love with you. You were the most beautiful thing I ever set my eyes on. I can remember the tone of your voice ingrained in my head. I hear your laugh and your whining on a loop whenever anything happens in my life. I can feel your hand on my knee as you knelt over me to take a look at the new black eye my dad gave me and the salty tears that stained my shirt. I remember how hard my heart was beating when you told me to come live with you to be safe. (I don’t know why I never went away with you by the way? I guess I was pretending not to see the evil in my dad.) I can feel the way we would hold hands when it was just us walking down a back road to school, the kisses on the cheek on our birthdays, the heat of your body as we lay basically on top of one another on my bed after an exhausting game of soccer. You even used to hold me in your arms at night when the nightmares got to be too bad the sound of your voice singing me a lullaby being the only thing that could ever calm me down. (I haven't had a full night's sleep over a year now, I end up just staying up as long as possible until I pass out from exhaustion, but when the nightmares get too bad sometimes I'll go a couple days without sleeping or eating). I just wanted to let you know how you were an integral part of my life and I can't do anything without you. I love you more than the words on this page say. Please forgive me Dae, I need to hear your voice again, to feel your skin against mine, to kiss and to hold you, to fix all that I've broken. Please let me back into your life? I won't let you down.

Will you ever forgive me? I can't live with myself knowing you're hurting because of me. If you don’t want anything to do with me just let me know and I'll leave you alone forever though, I just needed you to know that I would gladly leave everything behind to be with you. I’ve been preparing for a while to set out. I’ve gotten a job offer back in town, it’s really close to your place Dae if you forgive me we could live together just like you always wanted us to do. I’m also getting the papers ready to divorce Jimin - I can’t be in this relationship if I can’t even think of being by her side for another day let alone the rest of my life. The only one I can see being a part of my life is you. I’m ready to move wherever you are Dae I would travel the world to spend one more day with you and I’d spend it showing you just how much I love you. I’m offering you My life Dae, everything's in your hands you get to choose my outcome but I hope you choose to have me because I certainly want you. 

Dae you're so important to me I love you more than words can say, I’m sure I sound awfully repetitive in this and you were always more eloquent of us both especially in writing. Speaking of which how’s songwriting going? Have you finished that ballad you sang to me the last night we were together? It was really good, I hope you finish it because I’d buy a million copies. I hope you're still following your dreams, I know that you can achieve anything if you set your mind to it. You are the best musician I've ever heard and I know that you will make it big.

I just wanted to let you know everything on my mind and in my heart. This is by no means a guilt trip and I want you to make a decision that's healthy for you. I don’t want to let anything toxic into your life and will protect you just like you protected me. I know I'm still broken but the sad truth is that you're the only one that can fix me. If you decide not to answer within 30 days I will still do stuff for me. I will leave Jimin I'll move out, I will try to live a healthier life. I will do everything in my power to get better but I know I won’t be able to love anyone again. You were my first and only love and I can’t ever rid myself of the permanent place my heart has for you. I will carry my love for you with me to the grave if need be and will be at your beck and call for my whole life. You can call me up any day, show up at my door, mail me a letter and I will get to you as soon as humanly possible. I will bend and shatter the earth for your every whim and I want to be with you. I will see a therapist too, I will get healthy mentally, I've already been seeing someone for my issues and they helped me to write this letter out. I need to do this for me and for you, I need closure and I need your love but I want to do it the right way. 

Sincerely the man who loves you

Minseok Kim

PS: I love you so please take into consideration everything I've said and make the decision that's best for you. Your health and mentality are my utmost priority. And I apologize for my tardiness in discovering my feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this I worked long and hard to make it somewhat okay to read. It was also difficult writting it out in english so I hope it turned out okay. Thanks so much for reading this, love ya'll.
> 
> I'm gonna end this here since I have negative motivation and shit going on, I like to think that Jongdae takes him back and they settle down. They adopt three cats and never speak to Minseoks family and visit Dae's family all the time, Minseoks ex wife gives him the divorce papers without saying anything but she is invited to theirs and shows up with a loving and sweet husband and a bundle of children. IDK tho you can make up your own mind as to how you see this story ending.

**Author's Note:**

> I have just about zero real-life personal knowledge of homophobia relating to myself but I did a bunch of research and talked to a couple of irl people about some of the things they’ve faced from their parents and other people in their lives. I also grew up in the church so I’ve run across my fair share of homophobic assholes, so I drew some inspiration from that. 
> 
> I’m sorry if anything seems off with the writing, my first spoken language is English but I went to a french school so I only learned how to actually write it properly in 4th grade and it was mostly essay writing. So if I sound robotic through my writing I’m really sorry.


End file.
